Oct 27, 2011

My first climb up to the Y in Provo.

When I was called to serve in the High Council I had been serving in the 166^th Ward Bishopric at Brigham Young University. As a member of the Bishopric I had made it a goal to attend  every activity to support the youth of the ward. I had almost attained that goal but was not able to do one of the activities in three years because of a scheduling conflict as it was held during the same time that I had been asked to photograph a wedding. SO as a member of the High Council I made it a goal to attend all that I could but not necessarily every one. This goal included attending the activities of the ward to which I was assigned to help in the Stake as well.

Well that goal was really put to the test this last couple of weeks. We had a Stake activity to climb up to the Y on the hill behind BYU campus. Normally I would have loved to be involved in this kind of an activity but due to other circumstances I was actually quite dreading this one. I had been on the second floor at work and was assigned a responsibility that had me going up and down stairs constantly during the day and I was feeling pretty good and could even go up and down the stairs in the buildings where we hold church on BYU camps. However that assignment was changed a couple months prior to this activity and my desk was moved back to the first floor and I was then working at the computer all day with no break going up and down the stairs. My schedule trough the day was to get up at 5:30 A.M. and go to work around 6 A.M. I would then begin working on photographs with occasional breaks to go to the photo room and take pictures then back to my chair to work on those photos until 5 P.M. when I would go home. Around 6 P.M. I would then sit back down at my computer and work on photographs that I  had taken for weddings or families until 10 P.M. when I would retire to the bedroom and go to bed after reading the scriptures and having our night time prayers. This was repeated everyday during the week and then on Saturday I would do yard work all day until after supper or later when I would again work on the photographs on my computer. So I was getting occasional exercise on Saturdays and whenever I was taking pictures at weddings or other places. Needless to say it was not adequate enough to prepare me for a climb up the face of a mountain.

Well I was for sure going to go running or something to get prepared during the last two weeks before the event but it didn’t happen due to rain and the shear magnitude of work that I had to get done for clients. Well I got up early and made sure that I had a breakfast before starting on this activity. I had been assigned to help set up for it so I knew that I had to be there a half hour before any of the youth would be coming. I also made sure my water pack was filled with Gatorade, a drink filled with nutrients and salt that I would be using during the hike.  I got my camera gear all loaded into my pack and headed off to Provo still a bit worried about the outcome and whether I would actually physically be able to make the climb. I ended up being a little early and was the first one to the parking lot from the stake. I could see where a lot of people had already been climbing the trail and were actually at the Y. It of course didn’t look to be very far up there after climbing a good portion of the mountain in the car just getting to the trail head.  I soon saw three youth that I knew from the ward and they said they wanted to climb first and then come down for breakfast. The Stake Relief Society Presidency then arrived followed shortly afterwards by another two members of the High Council and a member of the Stake Presidency. We soon were setting up the food and the youth started to arrive.

Well it wasn’t long after the food arrived and people had eaten that the first ones of the group decided to start up the trail. I went with them knowing that they would be to the top long before I got there but at least I would be there before the last of the group would get here.

I still wasn’t ready to hike but headed off with them and was able to keep up for the first 100 yards then had to stop and get my breath back. I slowly inched up the trail stopping frequently still trying to catch my breath. I then looked back down the trail and noticed two members of the Stake Presidency coming up the trail and decided that I would at least get there before they did. Well at the last section of the trail they were in hearing distance of me and I yelled for them to stop so I would be able to get there first. They didn’t because when they asked, “Do you want us to stop?” I laughing replied “No”. I did make it up there first and even had enough left in me to run the last 20 yards to the top so that I could joke with the ones that I had started with that I ran up the mountain. It was a beautiful sight to be able to see the valley below as the sunlight was slowly getting closer to the mountain. (That was another goal that I had and it was that I be to the “Y” before the sun got there. I mad it.)

I stayed and took a few pictures and then finally headed back down. I went much slower going down since I wanted to take pictures of the scenery that I had not photographed going up due to my heavy breathing and unable to really hold the camera very still. I passed a lot of the Stake as they were coming up and a lot of the stake passed me as they were going back down. When I made it to the bottom I commented to one of the youth that I had walked with the last few yards down the trail that my wife said that I could make it and, well, she was right even though I had my serious doubts before starting that morning. I did make it and it was a tough as I had imagined and that point was really driven home actually while near the top when a young man from the ward I been in with the Bishopric came running up the trail. He ran all the way to the top and then ran back down. In fact it was 7 minutes later according to the time on the photographs when he ran back down past me. He is in really good shape though and even commented that he had ran the Boston Marathon earlier in the year.

SO here is a summary of the lessons that I learned while on this hike. 1.  Dreading it is real and serves as a warning to prepare. 2. Make time to prepare. 3. Do it anyway because you will be glad that you did after it is over. 4. Be sure there is a Doctor with you even though he went ahead of you quite easily and wouldn’t have been able to help until he was on his way back down. 5. Don’t set goals to bet someone who is in better shape than you are.  6. Just laugh it off when someone comes running up the trail and seems to be on a Sunday stroll through the park. And finally #7. The easiest way to climb that mountain when not prepared is to have some one else do it for you.

I was glad that I had done it but when all was said and done I was pretty sore and had muscles aching in every part of my body the rest of that day and the next day. If asked to do it again I would, but would also try to prepare just a little bit better.

Oct 26, 2011

High Council Speaking Assignments


Today (May 17, 2009) I have just completed an assignment typical for High Council members of an LDS Stake. I gave a talk in the 166th ward at BYU. It reminded me that I have a story to tell about this type of event.
When I was a primary age boy (3 to 8 years old) I would often travel with my father as he would go on assignments to the different wards in the Duchesne stake. I went to Fruitland, Tabiona, Hannah, Utahn and Bridgeland. I remember it being long and I got quite bored but each time I was asked if I wanted to go I would do so and quite excitedly. I think I got to know the youth in those areas of the basin and in my high school years had many friends in those areas because of those early experiences attending primary with them. Anyway back then I only remember my father giving possible one talk to the ward he was visiting.
Later in my life when I was called to be on the Mapleton Stake High Council I received assignments nearly every month to talk in one of the 12 wards in our stake. I learned then that there is an art to speaking as a member of the high council. You have to prepare for a 45 minute talk in such a way that it still makes sense if you cut it to a 2 and half minute talk because the other speakers took way to long on their talks. It is not an art but rather it is being alert to the whisperings of the Spirit as to what should be said in the amount of time remaining. I am so very thankful for a Heavenly Father that has helped me every time in not only preparing the talks but in giving them as well. I have felt his spirit many times as I have spoken n his behalf as a member of the high council.

Oct 25, 2011

Bike meets fire hydrant and looses

I have had some wonderful experiences on my bike through the years. I rode it often from the farm to edge of town to look out over Duchesne from on Blue Bench where we lived. I even rode it to summer school several years and even finally was able to ride it all the way to the top of the hill as I would ride home even though most of the summer I had to walk it part way. I rode on it with Stan and Leesa on their bikes in the darkest of nights and on one for 100 miles for a scout activity two years in a row. I also took it with me to college and rode it up to the Snow College “S” on the mountain near Ephraim. I spent several months on one in the mission field in Texas and even rode out on it in after an Ice Storm when were were barely able to maintain balance as we rode the very ridge of the road, the only place where there was no ice. We even had a struggle getting back on since it was so hard to stay standing let alone riding when you did get on the thin layer of ice.

I often have wondered why I ever spent so much time on my bike though considering the fact that early on in my years of riding I had an experience that should have curbed any desire to ride again.

I was at Duchesne High School and had ridden my bike there from home that day to go to summer school as I recall. I had spent some time with my mother in the library and then decide to go to where dad worked and I guess get a ride home with him that day for some reason. Well I left the school and crossed the street and wasn’t looking where I was going very well because all of a sudden this big red fire hydrant decided to step over in front of me and I couldn’t dodge it in time. (No it didn’t move but the story is a lot more fun since you were trying to visualize in your head a fire hydrant getting up out of the ground and moving at all in the first place.) Well you can about imagine my horror as I flew over the top of the handle bars and past that red fire hydrant that was standing there laughing at me while taking the front tire of my bike and with the front part of the bars bending it to where I would not be able to steer it at all any more that day. I was also quite embarrassed as well since that hydrant was right next to main street and people that I most likely knew had to all be driving past at that very moment.

Well I picked myself up and examined the scrapes on my body then picked up the bike and tried to ride it again. (That was when I discovered that the hydrant had bent it up so badly.) I ended up having to push it the next two blocks (that seemed like miles) until I got to the school garage where dad worked and could, because I had to, get ride home a couple hours later. Yep I am still a firm believer that fire hydrants do have an attitude and maybe it is because of all those dogs that they have to put up with the rest of the time.

Oct 24, 2011

2nd Youth Conference @ BYU

My growing up years were filled with numerous spiritual experiences and opportunities for leadership. As a young member of the Priesthood I had opportunities to go to Stake Youth Conferences. My first when I was 14 that was held outside of the Uintah Basin was a Region Youth Conference held at BYU. I remember coming to it only a little and the events still do not come to mind easily but when I was a Priest 2 years later and we repeated the Region Youth Conference it stayed with me a lot more.
That year I was asked to participate on the Region Youth Council and to help plan the events that would take place while we were here at BYU. I remember going to Roosevelt for the planning meeting as it was the center of the region which included all of the Uintah Basin Stakes of the LDS Church. I had 4 or 5 other members of our Stake Council that would go with me and we were responsible for planning certain parts of the event.
There were basically just a few major highlights that I wish to tell here.
1st was the fact that Marie got to be part of the group attending the conference from our ward and of course I quite liked her company at that time. (I must admit that I probably didn’t like it as well as I do now but after all of these years together there are some very obvious reasons as to why.) Anyway it was fun for me to be able to plan events that I knew we were going to get to do together while at conference. I planned the classes that I would be over and made it so that we woud be able to go to them together.
Then there was the responsibilities at the conference to ensure the other youth were getting where they needed to go and I enlisted her help to be with me as we would sign up participants and then later direct traffic to the events. There was also a the evening events like the firesides and dances where I would be able to plan being with her as well.
The one event that sticks out though with the most vivid of memories was the talent show we had for one of the firesides. Our stake was asked to come up with I think a couple of numbers and one of them involved Marie and I. A young man form our ward named Kevin Wilkinson was a pretty good guitar player so we asked him to come up with a number. He agreed to do it but only if some of the rest of us would help. (It still sticks in my mind that Rhonda was asked to participate as well to who he later also got married and still is with her today living in St George, Utah.) What made this most memorable however was his choice of a song to sing. I had to get it approved by the council and they did approve it but I still don’t know why. Anyway it was a song titled “Oh Ruby, Don’t take your love to town.” Now if you know the words you would understand my reservations because it is all about a woman married to a veteran of a war that was handicapped and because she lacked the love she thought she needed she would often leave at night and go out to find it with someone else. Well the words were not the most uplifting but the music was pretty and it was fun to sing yet to this day I still remember the fear I felt about singing it at youth conference. The number went over OK as far as I can remember but I still can’t really feel good about having sung it. It has made me much more aware however as life has continued for me as to the influence that music can have on the mind and I am often moved to tears when singing ones like “How Great Thou Art” (which wasn’t in the LDS Hymn book by the way at that point in history), or “Because I Have Been Given Much”, or “I Believe in Christ” (also a new addition since that time in the church hymns).
It was a good experience though and I often reflect as to why I was so lucky as to be a part of that planning committee because what I took away from that conference was much more significant for me than the first one due to the fact that I had been asked to help plan for it and direct it while at the conference.

Oct 23, 2011

100-10 Bike Trips

During the first few years after having been to Woodbadge I became quite involved in Varsity Scouting so that I could fill my ticket from Woodbadge and accomplish my goals. I started out by becoming involved in the Varsity Committee for the Hobble Creek District where we lived. I was involved in training courses and activities with the boys in my team and enjoyed the experience. It was only a few short months though after becoming the Varsity Coach in my ward that our ward was divided and much to my surprise I ended up with my family in a whole new ward the First Ward. I was worried as things began to develop because I knew the Varity coach real well and didn’t want to be the coach in his stead. Well I was worried for nothing because the Bishop (B Ray Anderson) and 1st Counselor (Wynn Everett) came to see me and I was soon called as the Scoutmaster. I loved the job as Scoutmaster also but never could quite get the orange of varsity scouting out of my blood. I became involved however in more District planning and a few years later had the opportunity to plan an event that would cross all the scouting lines and be something any of the boys 11 to 18 could do. It was a hundred mile bike ride in less than 10 hours and we called it the 100-10. A friend from work and I were on the committee and decided that if we were going to host it we had better ride in it. So since we worked together at Signetics we decided to ride our bikes to work in preparation for the event. I would leave home around 10 pm in the pitch blackness of the night with only my small headlight letting me know what was on the road ahead of me. We got to where we quite enjoyed the ride and did it for nearly two months solid prior to the June event. We rode on cold nights and we rode several times in the spring rains that were also quite cold. The interesting part of the ride was that I could truly say to the boys that I rode uphill both ways to work and home every day. There is a joke now days about how grandparent s say they walked to school uphill both ways in 5 feet of snow and the kids love to use that on us whenever we might say “In my day!” Anyway it was true because I would ride down off the hill into Springville where I would stop by Steve’ Claybrook’s home and start the ride on into work with him. There was Ironton hill that I found to be quite steep that we would ride up and over and down both ways and then there was the hill that took us back up to Signetics as we got to Orem. On the way home it was reversed and we would ride down out of Orem only to face the ride over Ironton and the ride back up onto the bench into Mapleton.
It was good exercise and I got to where I could ride it quite easily so that when the day of the 100-10 came I was able to easily make the ride in just under 9 hours. That 100 miles was a long way though and I gained a great respect for it. The event was a lot of fun and as I remember Ben, Jeff and Hayden all rode on it with me. We often talked about it but after the ride Steve and I more or less stopped riding into work. The year quickly passed and it soon seemed time was here again to plan the next ride for our district 100-10 mile bike ride. It had been such an easy ride the year before that Steve and I were not nearly as diligent in our preparations this time. We rode a few times into work since we were still on the graveyard shift together but not nearly as well as we had the year before. It seem to be a lot wetter year also and riding in the rain really wasn’t as much fun. Again though the ride came and I joined in it with my scouts. Orin Bawden was my assistant scoutmaster and so since he was a little heavier fellow he drove a van to bring up the last rider and give assistance as needed. I started off on the ride thinking that I would stay with the last boy but only 10 miles into the trip I knew I would never be able to finish at that rate so I talked with Orin and decided to let him do his job and I would ride on ahead to be with my sons. Well it was around the 64th or 65th mile when I finally started to catch up with them. I had ridden hard for the last 50 miles and as I caught up with them about 5 miles before our designated lunch stopping place where we would eat lunch and rest for 20 minutes or so I hit the wall. I nearly felt like I was going to die as I struggled to keep on my bike and peddle fast enough to stay with the boys who seemed to be quite relaxed and having fun going SLOW or so they told me. Anyway they raced on ahead and started their lunches as I slowly made my way behind them. I finally got to the resting area and sat down under a tree and slowly ate my lunch. The boys however were ready to go cause they wanted a record time and didn’t really care if I rode with them. Miracles do happen though and by the time my food started to hit my stomach and they were getting ready to go I got my second wind and was able to stay up with them fairly well for the remaining miles. We finished the ride in just under 7.5 hours. L learned my lesson though that day and had I been involved the following year there would have been some more riding to work regularly.

Oct 22, 2011

Metal Disc sleight rides

When I was very young we used to get a lot of snow in the Uintah Basin. It was prior to the start of the Ski Resorts seeding the clouds so that it would snow at the resorts which then robbed the moisture form the air as it passed over the Uintah Basin where I was raised.

It was not a all unusual to have large snow drifts over the edge of the hill above our home and it made for some great times digging into them and getting under the trees that they would cover so that there would be a perfect cave without a whole lot of digging involved. Those drifts made for some other great winter activities as well however since they made great jumping off places for riding down the snow on sleighs.

Our sleighs were of an unusual nature though. Today we have plastic sleighs that are easy to carry anywhere and for long periods of time. Our sleighs were made from large metal disks that had been replaced on the farm equipment. Dad had welded metal handles on each and that way we were able to drag them along on the snow behind us. I do not remember how big they actually were but by sitting on them cross legged it was easy to ride them off the snow drifts and down the hill. The real tricky part was in finding a place where you could go down the hill and not run into the trees. The disks were practically impossible to steer once that you were sitting on them so it was very important not to have things in front of you that would have to be dodged. We would often walk it down the hill first to make a trail and then ride several times until the trail became easy to follow and each time also a lot faster. However due to the sheer weight of the metal disks that sleigh riding didn’t last a very long time as each of us were only able to pull them back to the top of the hill a few times before getting too tired to pull them.

Oct 21, 2011

Meeting the son, of a scouting friend, at BYU


I had an interesting time serving at BYU for the years from 2006 to 2009 in a Bishopric of the 166th Ward. During that time was able to get to know a number of wonderful youth and leaders. I would always try to be friendly and get to know each of them and their friends. One Sunday was particularly interesting as I was doing the tithing following our main church meetings I had need to ask Bishop some particular questions so I went to the 7th floor where his office was located to ask him the questions.
There were tow of our Sisters sitting there waiting for their turn for an interview and with one of them an obvious boy friend or wanna-be boyfriend I wasn’t really certain. Anyway we had been talking and I discovered that the young man was from Highland and so we talked about friends that I had who were also from Highland, Utah. One of my dear scouting friends was from there. Ren Smith was blind and had been involved in scouting the entire time that I had known him. I had seen him at various council functions and gotten to know him through those meetings. His Brother, Fred, and I had also served with Doug Binks on a Timberline course as assistant scoutmasters together for a couple of years. Ren later asked me to serve with him on a scout woodbadge course as a coach counselor in 1999. He was a Buffalo from woodbadge and so was I which even made it more fun to serve with him and he also broke protocol and asked me to serve a CC to the Buffalo Patrol. I was more than excited to do so. We had a great course and I got to love each of the men in the patrol. There were 12 Buffalo in that course that year as several of the staff were also from the Buffalo patrol of years past.
Well back to the story of this young man. We found out that we both had scouting connections with Ren through scouting and he made the comment that his dad had gone through woodbadge with Ren as the Scoutmaster. Well I quickly put two and two together and figured out that his father had been at that woodbadge course where I served with Ren. I knew that men were only allowed to be a woodbadge Scoutmaster one time so I had to have been there with his father. Then when I told the young man that I had been there and served as the CC for the Buffalo patrol he told me that his father had been a member of that patrol. I asked his fathers name and sure enough he had been one of my patrol. I then remembered a story that his father had told me and related it to him and he confirmed that indeed that had happened to them, The story was of a night when his father awoke to see a young lady standing next to his bed near where he was sleeping. She was dressed in white and simply stood there looking at him for a few moments before leaving. It had wakened him so much that he laid there wondering why she had been there and then decided to check the house. He went down to the kitchen and found the dishwasher had stuck in the dry mode and was so hot that he couldn’t touch it. He quickly turned off the breaker and let it cool down. He related to me that he was sure that had he not found it at that time that there would have been a fire shortly after since the door was so hot that he couldn’t touch it and that the counter was even getting very hot. He was sure that the young lady had been sent to warn him of the danger that he and his family were in at that time. Well the young man then related to me that his sister had also been visited by a man in much the same way but they never did discover why he had been there. It was not the same day as the visit to her father but later.
Well the young man called his father as we talked and asked if he knew a Kent Poulson and he said that he had known me at woodbadge and was his Coach Counselor. The world is so small at times.

Oct 20, 2011

Furnace treachery or Mapleton White Church Boiler about to blow it’s top.

I was recently reminded about this incident as I was talking to a fellow who repairs LDS church buildings. We were discussing the old white church in Mapleton where my wife, family and I had spent many years attending church. I had served as an Elders Quorum counselor, Bishops Executive secretary, 1st and 2nd counselor in bishoprics and as Primary teacher of the 8 year olds, Webelos leader, Cubmaster and Scoutmaster.
The story that I was reminded of was when I was actually serving the second time as a Counselor in the 1st ward Bishopric. (Well actually the first time as counselor it was in the 4th Ward Bishopric but in the same building.) Anyway we met at a very early hour of 6:30 A.M. in the south east corner of the building. One wintery morning we were meeting in Bishopric Meeting and were surrounded by a most unusual smell. There were tow other Bishoprics in the same building and after noticing the smell were suddenly alerted by a loud knock on the door. The Bishopric meeting nearest to the boiler room were there to tell us that we needed to evacuate quickly as the furnace was malfunctioning. We quickly gathered up our things and went outside. As the maintenance men got there and went into the furnace room they found that the boiler was extremely hot and almost at the pressure where it would explode. It would have done so in only a few minutes after their arrival had the not been able to turn it off and allow it to cool down. We didn’t hold church that day and in fact for the next couple of months through January and February we met in the Elementary school across the street. The furnace was completely replaced and much of the distribution system for the heat had to be changed. It was another reminder of how the Lord protects his Servants as they serve him diligently. Had the boiler exploded it most likely would have injured if not killed the Bishopric meeting nearest the Boiler Room and according to local experts would have blown a hole in the church that would most likely have extended through all three levels above the boiler room. That is a beautiful old church with a lot of special history including the baptismal font located in one of the basements that as long as I have been there has never been used.

Oct 19, 2011

Deer hunting on Maple Mountain by myself

As a young boy I always watched as my older brothers would leave with my dad for the ranch in Indian Canyon. It would be an October evening and they were headed off for the deer hunt. They would go to the ranch cabin and stay overnight then leave early the next morning on horseback and climb the hills above the cabin where the hunt would begin. I was not yet 8 years old but never the less very anxious for my turn to join with the others. Well it happened after I turned 8 and dad said I could go that night. I remember not sleeping real well because we were on the cabin floor and I was just too excited to sleep anyway. It was a long time before 5 A.M. rolled around and everyone started getting up, fixing and eating breakfast and getting the horses ready for the ride.

We left before it got light and started across the old canyon road and up the canyon across form the cabin. I was on the back of the horse with my dad and it was pretty hard staying on that big old horse as it climbed up the hill and followed the others who in the lead. It seemed like it was forever before the sun came up and everyone started to head just a little different direction to the heads of the canyons where the deer would be walking back form the fields into the hills. It was actually a pretty boring day and dad and I didn’t see any deer. We could hear shooting but that was not anywhere around us. Finally it was time for lunch and dad got off of the horse again as he had many times that morning and found an old tree to sit under while we ate our lunch. It just happened to be a Pinion tree and so I was content just getting the pine nuts out of the cones and eating them. I don’t remember Dad and I getting a deer that day even though others did. I am not really sure that it mattered to dad that we didn’t either since he seemed to just enjoy the day in the mountains, well foot hills around the ranch where he had spent so much of his life. Well this was the first of a lot of deer hunts to come in the future. I would continue to go deer hunting for the rest of my growing years until I left for my mission. I even got one my senior year the first time I was legal to carry and use a rifle. 

That is another story however and this story takes place after I was married and moved out to Mapleton, Utah. I grew up having hunted all those years and must have thought it my duty to do so each year as the hunt would come around. So the first year that I was married and living in Mapleton I was alone for the first time in my life and didn’t know where to hunt.  So I went somewhere close to home up Maple Canyon to hunt on the north side of Sierra Bonita mountain or what everyone refers to as Maple Mountain.

I got home from work early, put on my mighty orange clothes, told Marie goodbye and headed off to do my duty and get meat for my family. I drove to Whiting Park in Maple Canyon. Got my rifle and locked the car and started up the nearest ridge on the East end of the park. It was a pretty tough climb and pretty darn steep. I didn’t see any deer but just kept to the ridge and kept climbing. I was probably tow hundred yards up the mountain when I went around the edge of the hill and saw a number of doe running up the mountain to the west of my position. Then here he came, one of the oldest darn bucks I had ever seen. He was almost a grey color and had a huge rack on his head, probably much bigger than the one I had shot when I was a Senior in high school. I was panting pretty hard from the climb but had no time to stop and rest as he was heading up the hill at a pretty good speed. I pulled my rifle to my shoulder and sent a round in his direction and no where near him apparently since he just kept jumping only now with even more speed. I pumped another round into the chamber and sent a second round his direction with the same results. To this day I wish I had been using a camera because at least I would have had proof of his age and color. Well I now knew there were deer on that mountain and a big one in the mix but he was now out of sight and I would have to go after him even further up that steep ole mountain. I probably spent another hour before I knew that I would need to get down or be hiking in the dark. I started down but was now a long way from the ridge and ended up just heading straight down and eventually into one of the canyons. I didn’t realize how much brush would be jammed into that small canyon and how many times I would have to hike up and around a jam to thick to even crawl through. When I finally reached the park and my car I was lucky to still have my rifle with me since there were several times I would have been much happier leaving it in the bottom of the ravine. It was a rifle my father had always carried though so I carried it back knowing it meant far more to me than I could explain. I came off that hill with no big trophy buck but was glad I did since I would never have been able to pull one of them down that hill.  I never went hunting alone again and in fact there were probably only a few hunts that I ever went on again. I’ll relate them to you later or earlier depending on where they line up in my book. 

Oct 18, 2011

Signetics: A climb up the mountain of broken nerves.

As a young man I suppose I had ambitions to an extent of climbing the corporate ladder. I was a hard worker and being a white natured person (white comes from a definition of characteristics as to your personality) I was always one for working hard and playing fair. Well I worked for a company called Signetics and had gone in four short years from being a technician to a supervisor on day shift of the technicians in what we called Thin Film. Signetics produced electronic parts called “integrated circuits” or “IC’s” for short. The thin film area worked with some high tech evaporation equipment that layered thin films of aluminum and other precious metals such as gold and platinum onto the surface of the substrates from which the IC’s were created. As a supervisor of the electronic technicians I had counterpart supervisors in the production and engineering groups.

Each day I would have a meeting in the morning after I got in to work. So I would go in early enough to get an interface with my counterpart on Graveyard shift and then would be able to assign my technicians to take over on unfinished jobs from that shift and also assign new jobs that might come to us. I would then go to the meeting with the other two supervisors and would get their priorities and other information that I would need to send my techs to the most needed equipment and put two or more on ones that might need to be back in operation even quicker than the rest.

This worked out really well until there was a new production supervisor level that was created and  new supervisor put over my counterpart in production. Instead of him allowing his supervisors to have time to know what had taken place during the night he would come in a half hour or more before them so that as soon as they got there he could jump on them as it were for not having things going properly for their shift. It seemed to me to be intentional belittling efforts on his part to intimidate his people into better work. All it really did in reality was scare them into stupidity and actions that were totally reactional rather than planned. So for me it meant that they would be after me to have all of the equipment up and running before they could be there. I always was in a lot earlier than any of them so it was as though I had been there all night as far as they were concerned. We operated this way for several months and for me it was very stressful.

One day when I came in we had a number of large pieces of equipment down. I had assigned my crew to the machines of which we were only able to put one per machine and I personally was working on two pieces. The supervisor had come in and as usual jumped all over his lower level supervisors as soon as they came in and in turn they jumped all over me. I had explained several times over the next hour or so that I had everyone working on machines and that I was working on two as well as trying to get around to help each of the others as often as I could. Well the supervisor came to me once more and since I wasn’t really feeling well that morning anyway I was suddenly put over the edge of my capabilities. My nerves snapped and I began uncontrollable crying. I quickly left the fabrication area and through somewhat inaudible speaking informed him that I was leaving. I went to my car and drove the 25 minutes to my home still in somewhat uncontrollable crying. (I hadn’t cried for many years and so this was also very embarrassing for me.)

When I arrived home I walked into my house and grabbed my camera and left. My wife meanwhile was first shocked to see me home and second understandably worried where I was going and what I might do. I walked east from my home toward Maple Mountain. It was about a mile and a half to the base of the mountain and from there I began climbing one of the ridges. I didn’t know what I was going to do but I did know I was going until I couldn’t go any further which ended up being about half way up the face of the mountain. Maple is very steep and my knees finally said it was time to stop so I did and I turned and sat down and just looked out over the valley. By that time I was again in control of my emotions and could begin to think about what had happened and why. I spent a couple of hours on the mountain taking occasional pictures and doing a lot of evaluating. I now knew what my limits were emotionally and that came in very handy many times since that day. I also learned that maybe the corporate ladder wasn’t for me because I had many things in my life that were much more important, namely a wife and children. I decided then to never get to that point again where I couldn’t control my emotions. Rather I would leave the situation long enough  to calm down and get a better hold on the real needs at that time. I then went home much more in control and much better off having had that experience.

When I arrived home I was able to tell my wife what had happened but she was already pretty well aware of the situation because she had been receiving calls from both of my supervisors, the thin film supervisor and the Maintenance supervisor over the entire department. I was asked to call as soon a s I got back and I did and at that point was asked to go into the office the next morning to discuss the situation with all of the supervisors. I told him that I didn’t think I could yet but he gently encouraged me to do it and so the next morning I went into his office and met with my immediate supervisor and all of the production supervisors. It was a meeting for them to get their operation in control as much as it was for me to explain what had happened and why. We met for over an hour and then the maintenance supervisor excused everyone except me. He then looked at me and said, ”Now you know why they make all of us at this level have physical and mental exams every year and the company pays for them.” He then told me to go home and relax for however long I needed and when I felt like I was ready to return then do it but not until I felt I was fully ready. He said that I would receive my regular pay and not to worry about that part of it. I returned a full week later and at that time expressed my concerns to him that I really wasn’t mentally able to do the supervisor job on dayshift and was allowed to then go to graveyard shift where I was supervisor there for several years and later a regular technician again because that was really where I felt the most useful and by then had experience that would allow me to help other techs with problems and get equipment up and running faster. I was there until the plant was shutdown 7 years later.

It was a valuable experience and there have been a few times since then that I have felt close to that same situation and taken actions to leave and cool down or just get out. I even left a job one time due to the fact that my bosses were putting the same pressure on me and I knew I had to get out or crack again and I had determined that if possible that would never happen again. I have never had a desire to climb a corporate ladder again but rather to be satisfied with doing my best and putting my family first. They were my corporate ladder that was really worth climbing.