Families Part 2

Dear family.  01/23/18

Sunday we had our ward conference for 2018. Guess what the topic was about!

Families and making them stronger. We were again counseled by our Stake President to do all we can to strengthen and fortify our families. And as inspiration comes during talks like this they are not always exactly from the talk but feelings we get while listening to the talks. What is really interesting is the fact that I felt my phone vibrating and later when I looked at it one of my children sent a link leading me to this talk by President Eyring given in the April Priesthood session in 2012.

They had read my last email and felt impressed to share this talk with me. It does give further direction to me to fortify my family (wow, sent while I was listening to a talk on that very subject).

“… for all the priesthood, a great work ahead is to lead in saving the part of Israel for which we are … responsible, our families.”

 So here is the part of the talk that I would like to share with all of you tonight. It is toward the end of the talk and gives us four things we must do since we are responsible to save our families and it comes from me because I have that same responsibility only a little larger since now my family has expanded to include all of you. Parenting doesn’t stop when children have their own families.

As before please start with prayer as you consider these precious truths taught by our leaders.

Families Under Covenant

Pres Henry B Eyring

April 2012

Priesthood session

Let me suggest four things you can do as a priesthood father to lift and lead your family home again to be with Heavenly Father and the Savior.

First, gain and keep a sure witness that the keys of the priesthood are with us and held by the President of the Church. Pray for that every day. The answer will come with an increase in determination to lead your family, in your feelings of hope, and with greater happiness in your service. You will be more cheerful and optimistic, a great blessing for your wife and family.

The second imperative is to love your wife. It will take faith and humility to put her interests above your own in the struggles of life. You have the responsibility to provide for and to nurture the family with her while serving others. That can at times consume all the energy and strength you have. Age and illness may increase your wife’s needs. If you choose even then to put her happiness above your own, I promise you that your love for her will increase.

Third, enlist the entire family to love each other. President Ezra Taft Benson taught:

“In an eternal sense, salvation is a family affair. …

“Above all else, children need to know and feel they are loved, wanted, and appreciated. They need to be assured of that often. Obviously, this is a role parents should fill, and most often the mother can do it best.”¹⁰

But another crucial source for that feeling of being loved is love from other children in the family. Consistent care of brothers and sisters for each other will come only with persistent effort by parents and the help of God. You know that is true from experience in your own families. And it is confirmed each time you read of the family conflicts faced by righteous Lehi and his wife, Sariah, in the Book of Mormon record.

The successes they won provide a guide for us. They taught the gospel of Jesus Christ so well and so persistently that children and even some descendants over generations had hearts softened toward God and toward each other. For instance, Nephi and others wrote and reached out to family members who had been their enemies. The Spirit at times softened the hearts of thousands and replaced hatred with love.

One way for you to reproduce the successes of Father Lehi is by the way you lead family prayers and family time, such as family home evenings. Give children opportunities to pray, when they can pray, for each other in the circle who need blessings. Discern quickly the beginnings of discord and recognize acts of unselfish service, especially to each other. When they pray for each other and serve each other, hearts will be softened and turned to each other and to their parents.

The fourth opportunity to lead your family in the Lord’s way comes when discipline is needed. We can meet our obligation to correct in the Lord’s way and then lead our children toward eternal life.

You will remember the words, but you may not have seen their power for a Melchizedek Priesthood holder preparing his family for living in the same sociality that they will have in the celestial kingdom. You remember the words. They are so familiar:

“No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

“By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—

“Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

“That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.”¹¹

And later the promise comes of great worth for us as fathers in Zion: “The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.”¹²

That is a high standard for us, but when we with faith control our tempers and subdue our pride, the Holy Ghost gives His approval, and sacred promises and covenants become sure.

You will succeed through your faith that the Lord sent back the keys of the priesthood, which are still with us—with a sure bond of love with your wife, with the Lord’s help in turning the hearts of your children to each other and to their parents, and with love guiding you to correct and exhort in a way that invites the Spirit.

I know that Jesus is the Christ and is our Savior. I testify that President Thomas S. Monson holds and exercises all the keys of the priesthood on the earth today. I love and sustain him. I love and pray for you. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Love

Dad

To the father's of my grandchildren "Fathers Responsibility"

THIS IS PRIMARILY TO THE FATHER'S IN EACH FAMILY, HOWEVER WIVES SHOULD STUDY THIS WITH THEM IN AN ATTITUDE OF PRAYER. 

I have recently been wrestling with a problem in our family and seeking guidance from my Heavenly Father as to what I should do.I have been searching through numerous church talks and documents to find information that I can use and today as I was searching I came upon the following talk given by Boyd K Packer in April 1994 session of conference. It doesn't address the key items that I am researching but it does address why I am researching what I am. So I am asking you to pray about this talk and learn something from it that will help you in the near future as I present the other materials. I am not suggesting that you are doing anything wrong I am just trying to establish a pattern of things that will come later and a foundation upon which I can build. 

Two of the things that I am researching specifically are abortion and forgiveness because they are the two things that are causing a separation of our family and I cannot stand by and not perform my duty as a father and let it happen. I know how important it is for my grandchildren to know each other as much as possible considering the miles that separate us and how important it is that we trust each other and love each other. Trust each other enough to let Aunt's and Uncle's be part of our children's love and be able to be a support to each of them. Trust enough that we will yearn to let them interact with them and be able to be loved by them. Trust enough to be able to forgive and forget and to discuss things that come between us as imperfect human beings but still children of our Heavenly Father.

The scriptures teach that everything that is good comes from God and everything that is bad comes of the devil and so the separation in my family is coming because the devil wants it to happen. Negative feelings and misunderstandings come because the devil is trying to tear us apart. In this talk I basically got the message that I as father of my children must teach what the prophets have taught, SO, I am starting with this talk.  Remember it won't take you long to remember my short comings and faults but I like you am learning and growing also and if you have any negative feeling towards me please realize that it is the devil trying to make you feel that way so that you cannot learn what will be needed to keep our family together. Now you have your agency to feel what ever you want and I am not trying to take that from you, I am just hoping that by presenting this information you will have what the Lord wants for you to have so you can make correct choices and when it comes to teaching your children that you will have sound doctrine to use. If you do have negative feelings then I implore of you to go to your Heavenly Father for further guidance of which I know he will give, just be sure you are listening to Him. Search the scriptures and talks from modern day prophets and apostles as well and then look for the peace and calm that will come into your life.

                                                                                                                                                                The Father and the Family

Boyd K. Packer

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles General Conference April 1994

A family begins when a young man and woman are drawn to one another by an irresistible force of nature. They offer to one another that which distinguishes him as male and her as female, and they want, above all else, to find the one with whom they can completely express their love. They want to have children—to be a family.

These compelling forces of nature should not be resisted, only approached cautiously, protecting those life-generating powers until promises have been made to one another, covenants with the Lord, and a legal ceremony performed, witnessed, and recorded.

Then, and only then, as husband and wife, man and woman, may they join together in that expression of love through which life is created.

The ultimate purpose of every teaching, every activity in the Church is that parents and their children are happy at home, sealed in an eternal marriage, and linked to their generations.

The ultimate purpose of the adversary, who has “great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time,”¹ is to disrupt, disturb, and destroy the home and the family. Like a ship without a rudder, without a compass, we drift from the family values which have anchored us in the past. Now we are caught in a current so strong that unless we correct our course, civilization as we know it will surely be wrecked to pieces.

Moral values are being neglected and prayer expelled from public schools on the pretext that moral teaching belongs to religion. At the same time, atheism, the secular religion, is admitted to class, and our youngsters are proselyted to a conduct without morality.

World leaders and court judges agree that the family must endure if we are to survive. At the same time, they use the words freedom and choice as tools to pry apart the safeguards of the past and loosen up the laws on marriage, abortion, and gender. In so doing, they promote the very things which threaten the family.

None of this is new. Jacob, the Book of Mormon prophet, told the people of Nephi:

“I … am weighed down with much more desire and anxiety for the welfare of your souls than I have hitherto been. …

“It grieveth me that I must use so much boldness of speech concerning you, before your wives and your children, many of whose feelings are exceedingly tender and chaste and delicate before God.”²

This crisis of the family is no surprise to the Church. We have certainly known what was coming. I know of no better testimony that we are led by prophets than our preparation for this present emergency.

The scriptures speak of prophets as “watch[men] upon the tower” who see “the enemy while he [is] yet afar off”³ and who have “beheld also things which were not visible to the natural eye … [for] a seer hath the Lord raised up unto his people.”⁴

Thirty-three years ago (1961) the Brethren warned us of the disintegration of the family and told us to prepare. It was announced by the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles that the Church would be restructured.

The weekly family home evening was introduced by the First Presidency, who said that “the home [is] the basis of a righteous life and … no other instrumentality can take its place nor fulfil its essential functions.”⁵

Parents are provided with excellent materials for teaching their children, with a promise that the faithful will be blessed.⁶

While the doctrines and revealed organization remain unchanged, all agencies of the Church have been reshaped in their relationship to one another and to the home.

So sweeping were those changes that the entire curriculum of the Church was overhauled—based on scriptures, with excellent manuals for each course.

And years were spent preparing new editions of the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. Except for correcting printing errors and adding three revelations to the Doctrine and Covenants, the scriptural text remains unchanged.

Cross-references and other helps were added to make the scriptures more accessible. In the Topical Guide, for instance, under the heading of “Jesus Christ” there are eighteen pages—small print, single-spaced—the most comprehensive compilation of scriptural references on the Lord that has ever been compiled in the history of the world.

The new editions of the scriptures are complete in English and Spanish, and work is now under way in dozens of languages.

We can only imagine where we would be if we were just now reacting to this terrible redefinition of the family. But that is not the case. We are not casting frantically about trying to decide what to do. We know what to do and what to teach.

The family is very much alive and well in the Church. Hundreds of thousands of happy families face life with an unwavering faith in the future.

The course we follow is not of our own making. The plan of salvation, the great plan of happiness, was revealed to us, and the prophets and Apostles continue to receive revelation as the Church and its members stand in need of more.

We, like Jacob, must teach “according to the strict commands of God,” “notwithstanding the greatness of the task.” Like Jacob, we also run the risk of enlarging “the wounds of those who are already wounded, instead of consoling and healing their wounds.”⁷

When we speak plainly of divorce, abuse, gender identity, contraception, abortion, parental neglect, we are thought by some to be way out of touch or to be uncaring. Some ask if we know how many we hurt when we speak plainly. Do we know of marriages in trouble, of the many who remain single, of single-parent families, of couples unable to have children, of parents with wayward children, or of those confused about gender? Do we know? Do we care?

Those who ask have no idea how much we care; you know little of the sleepless nights, of the endless hours of work, of prayer, of study, of travel—all for the happiness and redemption of mankind.

Because we do know and because we do care, we must teach the rules of happiness without dilution, apology, or avoidance. That is our calling.

I once learned a valuable lesson from a mission Relief Society president. In a conference, she announced some tightening up of procedures. A sister stood up and defiantly said, “Those rules can’t apply to us! You don’t understand us! We are an exception.”

That wonderful Relief Society president replied, “Dear sister, we’d like not to take care of the exception first. We will establish the rule first, and then we’ll see to the exception.” Many times I have borrowed from her wisdom, grateful for what she taught me.

Now, following the example of Jacob, I speak to the men of the Church. Most of you are worthy fathers and husbands who do what you should do. But there are women whose hearts have been broken⁸ and children who are neglected, even abused.

If we are to help them, we must begin with the men. The next series of stake and regional conferences will be devoted to teaching the doctrines and principles of responsible and worthy manhood.

Some of you had no worthy example to follow and now visit the abuse or neglect of your own parents upon your wife and children.

Brethren, do you understand that we emphasize the teaching of the scriptures because they are the constant? From them we learn the purposes of life, the gifts of the Spirit. From them we learn about personal revelation, how to discern good from evil, truth from error.The scriptures provide the pattern and the basis for correct doctrine.

From doctrine, we learn principles of conduct, how to respond to problems of everyday living, even to failures, for they, too, are provided for in the doctrines.

If you understand the great plan of happiness and follow it, what goes on in the world will not determine your happiness. You will be tried, for that is part of the plan, but “thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.”⁹

Your responsibility as a father and a husband transcends any other interest in life. It is unthinkable that a Latter-day Saint man would cheat on his wife or abandon the children he has fathered, or neglect or abuse them.

The Lord has “commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth.”¹⁰

You are responsible, unless disabled, to provide temporal support for your wife and children.¹¹ You are to devote, even sacrifice yourself to the bringing up of your children in light and truth.¹²

That requires perfect moral fidelity to your wife, with no reason ever for her to doubt your faithfulness.

Never should there be a domineering or unworthy behavior in the tender, intimate relationship between husband and wife.¹³

Your wife is your partner in the leadership of the family and should have full knowledge of and full participation in all decisions relating to your home.

Lead your family to the Church, to the covenants and ordinances. We are trying to reduce the length and number of meetings and activities outside of the home.

I cannot express the depth of my devotion to my wife and children, their companions, and their children. I have learned more by far from them than they from me. That learning comes in ordinary experiences, the joy and the pain of everyday life.

I learned from a little boy the identity and value of a human soul. Some years ago, two of our little boys were wrestling on the rug. They had reached that pitch where laughter turns to tears. I worked a foot gently between them and lifted the older boy (then just four) to a sitting position on the rug, saying, “Hey, there, you monkeys, you’d better settle down.”

He folded his little arms and looked at me with surprising seriousness. His little boy feelings had been hurt, and he protested, “I not a monkey, Daddy, I a person.”

I was overwhelmed with love for him. I realized he was a child of God. How much I wanted him to be “a person”—one of eternal worth. From such ordinary experiences, I have learned to understand doctrine. “Children,” truly, “are an heritage of the Lord.”¹⁴

The family is safe within the Church. We are not in doubt as to the course we must follow. It was given in the beginning, and guidance from on high is renewed as need may be.

As we continue on our course, these things will follow as night the day:

The distance between the Church and a world set on a course which we cannot follow will steadily increase.

Some will fall away into apostasy, break their covenants, and replace the plan of redemption with their own rules.

Across the world, those who now come by the tens of thousands will inevitably come as a flood to where the family is safe. Here they will worship the Father in the name of Christ, by the gift of the Holy Ghost, and know that the gospel is the great plan of happiness, of redemption, of which I bear witness in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I love all of you and it is tearing me apart to see our family being torn apart. 

Love

Dad